Posts by Bona Dea

3

I think things are going to be ok!

by mamashel in

jw
friends

well we have had 2 of our kids have birthdys this month.

now today is my husbands birthday.

he is the one that was raised in the troof, and has had alot of problems moving on in his life since leaving the org.

Bona Dea

ahhhhh, how sweet!!!

Good for you guys!!! I wish you all the happiness in the world as you move on to greener pastures....

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

LOL...RR, okay, okay....since you put it that way, I'll think about it

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Having a normal life is something so many take for granted until they can see it slipping through their fingers. We didn't get involved with the witnesses until about 4-5 years ago, so I remember all too well how wonderful normalcy (not to be confused with perfection) feels. I mean, just having the freedom to decide to let your son join the cub scouts is something I would have never dreamed would be taken from me, or letting him wear red, white, and blue to commemorate the deaths of 9-11, or let him go on a field trip to a pumpkin farm....these are things that normal people do on a daily basis and take the freedom to be able to do them for granted. These are the kind of things that lead to a holy war in my house...almost daily. Its ridiculous to have to fight for your right (and your childrens rights) to be allowed to just be normal.

I am sorry for what your daughter is having to go through. I hope she makes a ton of really good and dependable friends. It is good that you have gotten out and are now able to allow her the, if she so chooses, freedom to befriend whomever she chooses...and to have the opportunity of living a simple and normal life. I wish you the best....

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Thanks RR. I knew some sarcastic response like that was inevitable. I was just waiting for the person who would make it...Thanks for contributing. Dr. Joy Browne is hardly comparable to Jerry Springer. A 3 minute anonymous discussion on the radio with a trained psychologist is quite a bit different than showing your face on a disreputable t.v. talk show to millions of viewers .

Bona

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Paduan

Does he know that you think it is one big pile of crap?

Yes, he knows exactly what I think about the witnesses. I have shown him everything I have read (the hypocrisy, the corruption, what I believe to be doctrinal errors)...and unfortunately (and strangely), this has only fueled his belief that they are the only ones who have the truth. He has even said by my adamant opposition I have only convinced him even more so that what he is doing is right.

And is he already past the stage of reason?

Sadly, most definitely.

There is a bit right at the start of the bible that kids can understand - and it did make God upset - "who told you that you were naked?" They used to be naked but they weren't ashamed of it - then a snake convinced them to think differently.

Great logic. I have never really seen it put that way before. That would make perfect sense to a reasonable person.

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Thank you Parousia for sharing that. People who've experienced things like you are EXACTLY why I want to get my kids as far away from this as possible (and I mean no offense to you by that). I went to school with JW kids. I saw how they would have to leave class when someone's mom brought cake and goodies on their child's birthday, how they would miss out on certain field trips and school activities because of the patriotic or holiday orientation (and most school events are usually one or the other), how they couldn't salute the flag (and the ridicule they received because of that), and how they always looked...so alone. I always felt so sorry for them (and, trust me, my life was no bed of roses). Who in their right mind would want that for their kids??? And I know by my son saying what he has (and he's said other things that really bother me) that he is vocalizing his fear and his feeling of inadequacy...and that, to me, is scary. I am sorry for what happened with you and your siblings. I hope your life is good now (and theirs is too) and that you can go on and learn from what you've gone through. The life you described is definitely not the kind of life I want for my babies.

Thanks again for sharing

46

The Overbeer's New Toy

by Valis in

jw
friends

well, i've finally saved enough and w/a little help from the dealership i am now the proud owner of a honda shadow 600 vt....not quite a harley, but it rocks!

just thought i would share and let the wholesome apostate sisters that rides are only a nickle..... .

sincerely,.

Bona Dea

N I C E !!!

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Mulan,

I'm sorry for your niece. These things are so hard. It is especially hard when kids are involved. I hope everything works out alright for them.

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Yes, it would be somewhere between difficult and impossible to find a middle ground with a true-believer jay-dub.

you can say that again

Kids need love, acceptance, and encouragement more than anything else. If you give these things to them, the details will take care of themselves. Don't hit the panic button over the JW thing, or feel like if your kids take to it somewhere along the way that it's the end of the world. They'll see it for what it is eventually.

I have been trying to stay on top of this...but it is so hard. I play out the worst case scenarios in my mind. They'll grow up and join up with the dubs and have nothing to do with me. They'll grow up, reject the truth and my husband will have nothing to do with them. I read posts on here about kids who kill themselves in KH parking lots. It is very hard not to hit the panic button. I ADORE my children. Life is plagued with enough "junk" without having to deal with shear nonsense like: Is God going to kill me if I'm friends with Tiffany because she doesn't go to the KH? I said God bless you today when Steven sneezed...gee, I hope God didn't hear me! "I pledge allegience to the flag"...(I hope God has his ears turned off). My 6 year old is already saying things like "God is going to kill me if I'm not good". I can't imagine what kind of things will play through his mind if this situation persists. And I utterly dread when my 4 year old starts putting some of this stuff together. My kids will have enough problems that will just come from life. It is my hope, that when they get older and mature enough to make decisions for themselves that they will see it for what it is

The more a JW has to fight for his religion, the more difficult it is for them to ever admit that it is not the troof. I've seen it all too many times.

I have learned this first hand. When I got out, he was a mediocre believer at best. Now, he's going out in the field service, doing talks at the TMS, and determinedly teaching the kids. It is driving me nuts

Thanks dantheman

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Hey double edge,

Yes...I nearly pissed in my pants I was so nervous. I actually cried on the air. I was terrified, to say the very least.

As far as my husband goes...well, you really just gotta know the man. I think this whole thing just sorta "suits" him (for lack of a better word). He's always been very controlling and very much a non-conformist...never liked Christmas (or any holiday, for that matter), never liked spending money, never liked politics/government, was never much of a "family man", and has always LOVED anything that sets him apart from everyone else. He is a very negative (anti-people) person by nature. "Has something bad to say about everything" kind of person. This is, IMO, just another way for him to control me and the kids, yet under the guise of being "for God", and it fits him since he never cared for half the things they ask their adherents to give up anyway. I think it's just sad that he can't see past himself and see what this is doing to our kids and our marriage. Honestly, I figure it is just a matter of months before he gets baptized.